******** DISCLAIMER: The first several paragraphs deal with ABC’s show LOST now since ended. If you’re not familiar with the show, try to google a synopsis first or go to the book store, or refer to the now released LOST encyclopedia now found in bookstores. ******
If you’re familiar with the now defunct television series LOST, you know about signs, coincidences, & fate affecting each character’s life. Well, perhaps I’m crossing a line here when I say this, but I feel like I am living in my own episodic series. I’m beginning to notice patterns that establish the mythology similar to LOST
Slowly reflecting back on the show’s characters, I see parallels. I feel like little young Jack not feeling “good enough” & having the need to “fix things” when he is an adult, unsure how to direct his emotions particularly when it comes to falling in love. Other times, I’m like Charlie, trying to break a bad habit with the help of John Locke. Charlie soon emerges like a butterfly conquering his inner demons. In the end, Charlie has always been my favorite character. He seems to redeem himself in the end in such a huge way. I only hope I am able to have such courage to make such sacrifice or a leap of faith believing that whatever we do or go through, it is for a reason. Belief that things we try to escape are ultimately avoidable and should just be allowed to occur is a sign of human transformation & emotional maturity. I have yet to get there.
Examining the darker sides of humanity, Sawyer embodies the inability to let go of anger & bitterness. As a result, he lives with the negative consequences this brings when he seeks revenge. Identifying with the female character Kate, I feel I’m emotionally running away from something when things seem difficult, frustrated that the one person who could save her is unsure about his feelings for her & vice versa.
Then there is Locke, who we see in first getting to know him, hates it when people tell him he can’t do something because he’s in a wheelchair. “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!” I have my own personal handicap, and because of it I feel others expect less from me. Following Locke’s spiritual journey, I felt I found my purpose only to be misguided & lost again.
Suddenly, my life explodes like the hatch that for many years kept Desmond’s character hidden. Like Desmond, an accumulation of all these characters’ trials & dilemmas of finding love, seeking stability, and restoring faith, I am always in search for my “Constant” to keep me alive. Currently, I have relied on God as that constant.
The other incidental characters that I encounter in my own life story may or may not play a large part in my ultimate fate, but I like to think so. In the midst of my personal monsters, battles, & meeting new characters unknown whether to be trusted (eg. Ben Linus), I live in this world much like the castaways on the island. I cannot help but reiterate Charlie when he asks, “Where ARE we?”… Sometimes depending on the day & mood, I’ll jump & say Hell!…
One can only hope that all the mini-events in each of our lives ultimately lead us back to the answers we’ve always hoped would get answered. In doing so, our lives would thus make more sense. I believe that there are signs we have to pay attention to make sense of what is happening to us.
I tend to seek the puzzle pieces much like a devoted LOST fan tries to analyze every dialogue of every episode; every number caught in a scene that are part of the infamous 4 8 15 16 23 42 number sequence; or flash forwards, backs, & sideways that may or may mean something.
So far, this might be too much to handle for the average NON-LOST fan. But if you might indulge me, you might start to search for those puzzle pieces in your life, ultimately giving you a sense of calm that the world runs in some weird cosmic organized way overseen by a higher force, (in this case, God in my personal life).
If you will indulge me for a few minutes, I ask to be your guide in how I analyze mini-events in my own life like a LOST TV FAN :)
How I Analyze My Life Like An Obsessed TV LOST Fan
1) Every time I reach for my phone, there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t see the times 9:11, 3:16, & 3:29. These don’t mean anything right now without context other than the first, being that pivotal & tragic date in 2001. How could we forget. The second I attribute to the famous John 3:16 verse, which is personal to me in many ways. Finally, the last is significant of my birthdate.
2) On three other occasions, my birthday shows up as follows:
a) locker number used before boarding a theme park ride
b) baggage claim check number on the ticket
c) and the receipt number on my lunch ticket
Seems insignificant in and of itself other than that they seem to just be frequently occurring incidents, (aka coincidences). To me, I considered them confirmations of my existence in a time when I feel no one cared if I disappeared. With the above 3:16 mentioned earlier, I feel that it was a reassurance that God was listening to me & showing me that I must live. That He created me for a purpose. That there will be tragedies (as evidenced by 9/11)-personal & social, big & small- but in the end we are here for a reason.
Then most recently, I bought Katy Perry’s album Teenage Dream. Strange coz I was reluctant to fall into that kind of so called “meaningless music fluff”. Who knew I’d find 2 treasures that would continue to reaffirm my existence:
1)Firework - “Have you ever felt like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?” …”Baby you’re a firework! C’mon show em what you’re worth.
2)Who Am I Living For? - “This cross is my own cross to bear! I can see the heavens but I can still hear the flames calling out my name…I cannot ignore this war..At the end of it all who am I living for?”
It was in the same manner that I found Paramore as a surprise strength, because in their thank you’s in their CD cover, Hayley thanks Jesus! Imagine my shock. In my desperation, in my time when I started to lose faith in God in anything, this connection made me hope again. Made me want to live again…And imagine using music to bring me back to life, because song has always been the only way I best expressed myself & felt validated.
Then last night, driving home, I talked to God asking Him “Do you love me, because I don’t feel that you do”. All this while the theme song of LOST played on my iPhone. How appropriate, because I felt literally lost in so many ways. WHich road did I have to take? Which way did I have to shun? Which bridges did I have to cross and which did I have to ignore?…Teary eyed, the next song plays Danity Kane’s “Damaged”. My hands on the wheel, unable to change the song, I resigned to listen through it. In the voice over towards the end, he says “sometimes you have to experience the pain to appreciate the joy” & “this too shall pass”…
If you really knew me, I take signs seriously. I have been told this is a special quality about me. That I tend to see things others do not. Some call it madness. If that’s true, so be it. It seems it will never change…Perhaps soon my madness will lead me to sanity, after I have connected all the pieces to the puzzles to my own LOST series that I feel I live through daily…
What is your LOST episode saying to you?
